Ah, well….it’s been another long spell since I last offered up some breast-centric musings. Is anyone still out there? 🙂 I sure hope so and I hope this note finds you in good spirits and enjoying your days.

Nothing much to report, actually, as I’m not in a relationship and haven’t had any sensual nuzzlings in far too long. That might be about to change (the sensual nuzzlings part) as I’m a kitty on the prowl, but for now I’m learning a lesson about myself that is one part sad and two parts empowering.

I don’t think I’m ever going to want to be in another long-term monogamous relationship ever again.

Now, go on and giggle because I deserve that. I know how this works. You say you never want another relationship and then KA-POW somebody comes along to knock you off your feet and you’re back down the rabbit hole again. Well, that’s totally fine. Prove me wrong, Universe, I’m OK with that.

For now, though…and, yes, perhaps forever….I know that I can’t keep giving up my power and self-esteem and independence and self-love in ways that the relationships I’ve tried or been part of have done to me. I think I’m getting too old to change. I’m definitely too old to let a man minimize me, control me or make me feel unworthy. Those are the trappings of a young woman still finding her strength and self confidence. Those things have no place in the world of a grown woman in touch with her goddess side.

Oh, I know it’s not all a man’s fault that these things happen, that these tough feelings occur. I’m at fault, too. That’s part of my point, actually, that I don’t think I’m wired for it (committing myself to a man like that) and therefore I often end up becoming a less than ideal partner because I just can’t take feeling as awful as most relationships end up making me feel.

Anyway. So. How is all this relevant to this blog? Well, it means that I’m not likely going to ever find a long-term ANR partner, that’s what it means.

It means that I’ll be seeking lovers who share this fetish with me, but that they will all probably be temporary connections and eventually I’ll keep having to move on and find more. That’s totally OK, but not what was my intent when I first started sharing my thoughts and desires with you.

So if I’m someone like that….and my search for a long-term partner for ABF or ANR is coming to a close in significant ways…

…should I still be writing this blog? Does that make me a bit of a fake or failure in this fetish community? Nah, I know it doesn’t but, well…

Will I even have enough material to keep saying new things?

Hmmmm…..just pondering all that comes with whatever comes next.

I hope you’re well.

I sincerely miss you!





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16 thoughts on “Checking In — With You & With Me

  1. Yes you are correct its when you don’t look the good lord drops one in to your lap !!! I enjoy each post,you send and,I wish,I could get my wife totally committed to ANR she starts and stops and it drives me Crazy why she gets almost there then stops. Can you give me any ideas to get her to commit completely, she knows what it does for me???!!! Thanks and keep writing !!!!!!!

    1. Ah, honey. The only thing I can suggest is that you talk to your wife about how it feels to HER and start there. When it’s only about your needs, that gets nobody anywhere. It’s a huge commitment — including an emotional one — to give all the time and focus and mindset necessary to induce lactation. I only know that because I’ve attempted it twice and gave up twice, too. Please be gentle, treat her with love and care, and make the suckling experiences really special for her no matter how many of them happen for you. xox

  2. Oh my goodness Ru,
    I feel your frustration with relationships and the dilemma of wanting anr but not wanting to settle in a monogamous situation that isn’t working. As we age we know what we want but finding it seems harder.
    I am sure many of your original followers are still with you and like me wish that they were the ones given a chance to suckle at your heavenly buds. Ah alas. If you ever come south…
    I would definitely still like to hear and read your thoughts and hope you continue. You were the one that made me realize that wanting our particular kind of sensual interaction was actually not weird and there were women and men out there that wanted it too. You have always given me hope. Thank you. Of course I have always had a crush on you too and your stories are a way for me to feel close to you. Strange way to be considering we haven’t met but I do feel a sort or kinship to you.
    Please keep writing and if you ever feel like talking you have my email. Drop me a private line. Much love and warmest regards to you my dear.

    1. Ah, Dominic. Always one to bring me back into the warmth of sweet thoughts and encouragement, thank you. I’m so glad that you and anyone else reading this is still there! I really appreciate these sweet words and the kinship that I feel with you, too. xoxo

  3. Oh Ru! I feel for you!

    At least you have a wonderful audience with whom to console, including yours truly who will be moving back to the NYC area this summer ;~)

    So, if I may ask, what age range are you looking for? Mid-thirties to mid-fifties, for example?

    Stay strong! You’ll find that perfect partner, but in the meantime, you might have to continue being patient before he emerges; But it will be sooooo worth it!

    –MF Laszlo

    1. What a sweet note, thank you! Best of luck with your move this summer, though forgive me I can’t remember where you are now. 🙂 I think I’m no longer looking for a partner at all….at least not for awhile….so age range is no obstacle at the moment. Proximity and independence and a desire to feel both savored and respected are the main barriers to a relationship for me and none of those are ones I currently have the desire to change. Soooo…. single I shall remain and I’m getting more and more OK with that as the days pass. Thanks for reaching out and being a friendly presence! xoxo

  4. good for you for finding the inner strength you need (and deserve!) to take care of yourself And “no” the change from searching for an lt-abr doesn’t change your blog it just takes it in a slightly different direction …in some ways it may provide an opportunity to share more of your self with your readers, perhaps even being fortunate enough for some to share this interest in person (dare I hope?:) I wish you well on your path forward – where ever it takes you!


    1. Shenmar, thank you for this really sweet comment that I appreciate very much. Yes, I think you’re right that the blog focus would simply change slightly and perhaps even take me (us) in some enriching or enlightening (or both) new directions as whatever comes next unfolds. 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to write.

  5. It’s almost a month after your post but I wanted to chime in saying that I have been a long time follower and if you were to disappear you would be sorely missed. Even if the focus of your blog has to change please stay around and keep posting. Many times I’ve had a bad day only to come here and read your latest post to bring my mood back around.

    1. I’m so glad that you chimed in and really appreciate your kind words, as well as your longtime readership. It’s very validating and wonderful to know that I would be missed, thank you. I would miss you and all my other loyal readers, too. So I shall stay and share and experience and enjoy all of the ways you all engage with me as we go. 🙂

  6. Hi Ru,

    Pleas don’t give up! It looks like I have found you too late. I am looking for an ANR myself and found your blog though a different website and tried to msg you there, but then read this post. I am not sure if you are still on that site or not but if it was correct we are not that far from each other. I would love for the oppertunity to get to know you and see if we click. Hopefully you will read this and send me an email. If not I wish you the best and hope you find what you are looking for! Either way you have made a fan for life with your writing.


    1. Matthew, I am really touched by this note, thank you. I am still here on my own blog, of course, but haven’t checked in much on other websites lately. You are reminding me to reconnect and stay connected and I appreciate it. Maybe I’ll see you there!

  7. Dearest Ru- I do hope things are going well for you. I miss your writings and hope you get another story on amazon soon (like the one about the handmaiden???? lol). I have found a lovely group of women for nuzzling sessions and it’s wonderful. Meeting them reminds me of your writings.

    1. Jacquie2010, yes YES yes I do intend to offer more ebooks for downloading online plus writings here at the blog! My apologies that I’ve been letting life get in the way of these passions lately, but I’m still here and trying not to become forever stuck in doubts about my writing talent and plain ole procrastination that have so far held me back from making that happen. I’m incredibly flattered that you want to read more of my writing, thank you. I’m also very happy to hear that you have found a group of women for nuzzling sessions, wow! Thank you for your note. I really needed it today. 🙂

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